FULL CIRCLE



Keri is a 40 year old Hospice nurse.  She worked hard for this pregnancy as she thought she was finished reproducing nineteen years ago.  Who could ask for more, a girl and a boy, a two years apart and life was good. That is, until last year when their 20 year old daughter was taken from them in a tragic car accident.
I write this piece, in a most difficult chapter, almost in the moment.  This is one of those deliveries you feel that it was a gift to be at. I want to send the family a thank you note for allowing me the opportunity to be present at this birth. Beautiful is an understatement when describing this birth.  It was raw and powerful. It was miraculous and it was healing. It was absolutely one of the most touching births I have been privileged to hold to memory. A piece of Heaven was surely in the room. 
Keri’s 19 year old son, surely traumatized by the loss of his older sister, sits quietly.  What could be going through that head of his? A horrific loss and a new life about to come full circle.  I had no idea what to expect from him. He would leave the room every time his mom was examined out of politeness and a calm maturity that is uncommon for his age.  He and his dad seemed to have quite a bond as I’m sure they all did. They had lived through something none of us can even imagine. They were solid, this was palpable.
One of the most memorable and powerful moments in all of this was when Keri was checked and found to be fully dilated. Everything felt right.  The head was low, and I felt she would barely push for 10 minutes. She was comfortable with her epidural and so grateful for it. I looked up at this beautiful mom to be and asked, “Are you ready?”  Her face flushed and tears welled in her eyes. Emotions that are so hard to describe flooded that room in that moment. The pain of the most tremendous loss and the joy of what is only a few minutes away.  My heart ached and my eyes couldn’t help but fill right along with hers. 
That wonderful dad and dedicated husband, became a bit faint during the delivery.  I vividly remember the grey and paste-like color of his skin. He immediately sat down and probably has trouble recalling what happened next.  Can you even imagine the emotion of it all? A big brother, in awe of it all, steps up to cut the cord and watch as his beautiful sister makes her way into their lives. 
Beautiful and comedic distractions made for not only a memorable delivery, but a moment in time that no one in the room will ever forget.  For this sweet family who has been bound by life’s greatest tragedy finally shared one of life’s most beautiful miracles.

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